Pages

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Attachment Continued


Both of our kids have gone through periods of very strong attachment. For Zosia, it happened around the time she was one, and again when she was one and a half-- right around the time I was very pregnant with Lily. But Lily has started in on her mama addiction much earlier. From the time she was around a month old, she figured out that I am her mama, and everyone else is not. The funny thing is, while she's with me, she's the smiliest, silliest, happiest baby ever. But when I hand her over, she realizes it right away, and doesn't waste a minute in communicating her desire to return to me. Sweet. But, at the end of a day of lugging her around, also very annoying.

I've been dealing with it through holding her a lot, carrying her in a sling or ergo, and trying recognize that this is a short stage and soon she will be venturing out on her own. But, even though I'm now an experienced mama that knows that children go through such stages, I wonder if I am just nurturing her addiction. Am I going to be taking her to her prom in a sling? Is she ever going to become more independent? And then, minutes after I entertain such thoughts, I start tearing up at the realization that this is the last day that she is going to be exactly this type of baby, that she is going to want me to hold her this much.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Healthier Eating


I would say that all-in-all, we're pretty healthy as a family. We eat whole grains, lots of fruit, a decent amount of vegetables, and avoid pre-made snack stuff. But Ben's family has been on a nutrition kick that surpasses our lifestyle by, like, a mile. It looks something like this: lots of "healthy fats," from fish, avocado, nuts. A lot of fruit, meat, and most of all, vegetables. And, (and this is the hardest part) no refined grains or added sugar. They love it, feel great, look great, and are very happy with it (and are not, incidentally, the type to buy into fad diets). I'm not quite ready to jump on the bandwagon, but I have definitely been inspired to make some slight changes in my/our family eating.

Most of the changes have to do with me, because I am all about giving Zosia some minor indulgences and keeping her eating flexible and adaptable. The main one, I will admit, is the sugar part. Because those of you who have eaten with us know that there is rarely a meal that does not involve desert. And I'm not ready to give it up altogether, but am realizing that it might be a good idea to cut it back a little bit-- especially since at times it feels like not only dinner, but every meal has a desert course.

Yesterday I felt like I made a lot of good food choices, including eating a piece of fruit for desert. But then I woke up in the middle of the night in a sweat feeling like I could eat our mattress pad. Apparently I was a bit over zealous on day one. Today, I feel like I'm enjoying my food and eating a lot of fresh vegetables. And I'm okay with the fact that I had some cinnamon ice cream with my neices and nephew right after we made it-- you only live once, right? I guess, ultimately, any lifestyle change just comes down to taking it one day at a time. And hoping that one day, it just feels normal.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Lullaby

We seem to have no power over the objects that Zosia bonds to. As is evident in this metal lawn bunny, whom Zosia has taken under her wing. She's sort of over him now, but for about two week straight, she would take him everywhere, including on walks. And she loves singing him to sleep. Here's her rendition of a lullaby.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Simplifying Clothing

We have had a whirlwind of a week, punctuated by some quality time with extended family, a beautiful wedding, and a lot more hopping around the county than we're used to-- all of which was amazingly smooth considering that we had two under two in tow. When we got home from the reception yesterday, everyone was exhausted, and Ben and I didn't waste a moment in getting out of our wedding gear (we were both in the wedding). I took off the high heels that I am totally not used to wearing, the crazy uncomfortable underwear, the dress, and I could feel my whole body breathe and return to its normal self. As I walked around the house in a loose sundress and some flip flops I was so thankful that it is only once a blue moon that I have to bind my body up in the way that some people do on a daily basis (can you imagine wearing heels to work?). Hours later, as I was falling asleep, I could still feel phantom pressure of the heels against my toes-- they had been so awkwardly uncomfortable. This morning I literally hobbled out of bed.

I love clothing and style. But, at least as long as the trauma of this weekend is still embodied in my two feet, I'm thinking about what clothing is, how it functions, what we expect from it. Beauty is one thing that we can all appreciate-- and those heels I wore yesterday were definitely beautiful-- but at what cost? And what do we prioritize when we clothe these precious bodies of ours?

Shoe choice for today? Barefoot and beautiful.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Speaking of Weddings

Enjoy!

Still here...

just enjoying the company of lots of extended family. Ben's sister (my beloved sister-in-law) Elisabeth is getting married this weekend, which means that we are surrounded by friends and loved ones from far and wide. I'll check in after the festivities are over.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Rub a Dub Dub


If you had to guess the two members of our family that have totally abandoned Western hygienic practices, who would you guess? Would it be the obsessive compulsive toddler who refuses to play in mud for fear of getting dirty? Would it be the preppy software engineer who loves little more than washing his hands? Or would it be the hippy dippy mom who has already made it a habit to skip days between showers? The laid back newborn? The stinky dog?

Well, I'll just tell you. It's Ben and Zosia. Yup, the two most fastidious, cleanly people in the house are going through some sort of hygiene crisis. This is how it started:

Two weeks ago, I was taking a bath with Zosia, when, all of a sudden, she started very emphatically saying, "New diaper! New diaper!" She very often says things that don't quite make sense to me, so I sort of ignored her, and continued playing with the bath toys, or whatever it is that I do in the bath. She kept on with the new diaper thing and it started developing into a little fit. So I tried to calm her down and figure out what, exactly, "new diaper" meant. At that point she started yelling at the top of her lungs "Out! Out!" Okay. Out I could do. So I pulled her out of the tub and put her down on the bath mat, at which point she peed on the mat. Aha! So she was terrified of peeing in the tub. She is, for some inexplicable reason, terrified of peeing anywhere but her diaper, even though she knows exactly when it's coming.

So since then, Zosia is on a bath strike. She refuses to go in, and starts clinging to her diaper whenever I try to undress her for a bath. She's absolutely totally terrified of peeing in the bath. I've assured her that it's fine to pee in the bath. Isn't that what kids do? They pee in baths, pools, anything? We've tried treats, encouragement, everything, but nothing works. She's terrified of baths actually out of her obsession with cleanliness-- she doesn't want to risk bathing in her own pee.

On to our next hygiene rebel. A week or so ago, Ben started a conversation something like, "I think I'm not going to wash my hair everyday." I think this was when we were around the kids, so I was busy, and just sort of said, "Yeah, I've heard that's better for your hair" or something like that, and we dropped the topic. A few days later (like 4) Ben told me that he hadn't washed his hair since we talked. I said, "Sweetie, isn't four days a little long? I've heard every other day is best." At that point he informed me that what he meant during our original conversation is that he is going to stop washing his hair altogether. No more shampoo. Ever. I guess he vaguely remembers a conversation with his brother several years ago in which his brother said he had heard of some people who don't shampoo, just sort of scrub with their hands, and have great hair because of it. No need for product. So my darling hubby is going without shampoo. At least it saves money, right?

On a more cleanly note, Lily and I are actually washing, with soap and shampoo, every single day. Talk about a role reversal.

But, while I hate to admit it, Ben's hair does look good.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Maria Montessori's Life

I'm finally reading The Montessori Method, Maria Montessori's work outlining her method of educating young children. I have started the book many times, and have never really made it that far-- it's written in a style typical of its time which is very theoretical, wordy, and abstract (especially the first chapters). Luckily, if you plow through the beginning, you are rewarded with some very concrete descriptions.

But I've found some of the facts of Maria Montessori's life to be fascinating-- especially given the almost cult-following that her teachings have generated. I have a couple of books about instigating Montessori principles at home that I just ordered from Amazon and should be headed my way. I'll review those books and mention ideas that I found helpful. But, for today, here are some of those interesting and, at times, shocking, facts about Maria Montessori and the ideas that she propogated:

* Her methods were originally created for severely learning disabled children in the slums of Rome (which she refers to, in a very un-PC manner, as "idiots"). Only after they had been very successful with this population were they modified and expanded for other types of kids.

* She actually envisioned that her "Children's Houses" would essentially replace family units. She had very Utopian visions of children being left in these "houses," and their mothers going off to work, thereby liberating themselves from the oppressive yoke of childcare.

* She herself never had a family. She had one child, out of wedlock, which she put up for adoption. She was a very edgy woman-- a doctor, independent, and I'm guessing, a force to be reckoned with.

* Her method relies very specifically on a certain set of Montessori "tools" that are laid out and employed according to age-appropriateness. Many are similar to those "Melissa and Doug's" toys that you can purchase all over the place-- others, like her gymnastics equipment, are more crazy sounding.

* She had very strong theories about everything, ranging from how children were to sit, to how they were to be interacted with, to what they would eat-- followers of the Westin A. Price theory of high-fat toddler food would probably find a kindred spirit in Montessori. But, she had some weirded dietary beliefs, many of which we would probably discard (like that bread is the perfect food for children, children should have a diet primarily composed of soup, high sugar diets are ideal).

*One principle of Montessori education is mixing age groups-- sort of emulating the family in this way. Children are mixed up with other kids of all ages, and that way have the opportunity to both learn and teach.

So, I'm still reading, and am very absorbed by the parts of her book where she actually gets into the specifics of her "method." It's fascinating, and I'm really excited to start trying out the methods at home-- I'm realizing that we've had a very montessori-style home from the beginning, emphasizing Zosia's ability to guide her own learning. But I'm trying to figure out how to reconcile some of Montessori's foundational beliefs with my own. It's especially tricky for me to reconcile her belief that the family is sort of a thing of the past with my own view that there's nothing more central than the family for a child's development. Montessori was definitely writing before attachment theory was commonly accepted as scientific truth. Or the fact that she never had her own family is also something that changes my view of her theories-- because no matter how many children she taught, she never had them 24-7, nor did she deal with children on a highly-individual basis (her methods relied heavily on a group mentality where children watch and follow older children).

So I'm still committed to incoporating Montessori into our home, but am just realizing that, as with just about any theory, I'll have to do some picking and choosing.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Glasses Surprise


Ben and I both wear glasses (him all the time, and me on occasion to give my contact-wearing eyes a break). We loooove zenni optical, where you can order a full pair of glasses, including your prescription lenses and cool frames, for around $20 including shipping!! The glasses are great, and have actually lasted longer than really expensive ones from an optomitrist. The only thing you have to do is, when you go in for your appointment, ask that they measure the distance between your pupils, because you'll need that. Other than that, you just have to know your prescription. The one down side is, obviously, you can't try the glasses on. So I suggest this: go to a glasses place and find two or three frames that you like, and then order two on the site that seem to look like the ones you tried on. You'll still pay much much less than you would at a store, and chances are that you'll like one pair.

I let Ben choose out my next set of glasses, and was pleasantly surprised by these yesterday. Perfect! Nice work, Ben.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Universal Baby or: Baby in our Midst

There are two theological concepts that I have been thinking about lately: one from my own faith tradition and one from another, both very related to the experience of motherhood.

Buddhists have an idea they call "the universal mother." Here's the gist of it: since Buddhists believe in reincarnation, when you look at any human being, however obnoxious, you must remember that this individual was once, in some previous life, someone's mother. No, it doesn't end there. In reality, this person, in some previous life, was your mother. And to Buddhist monks, who were probably the ones responsible for coming up with this idea, their own mother was quite probably the closest person to them in the world, seeing as how they didn't have families of their own (and most Buddhist countries have a much stronger respect for parents than some might argue we have here in the West).

I have always thought that this principle was somewhat analogous to the idea of Jesus in our midst. The idea here is that Jesus is always around us, always appearing in unexpected places. It's along the lines of "Whatsoever you do to the least of my people, that you do unto me." We are always waiting for Jesus to reappear, looking around us to try to discover his presence. And some theologians would even argue that every person actually carries the presence of Jesus. So just when you want to blow off the beggar, or cut someone off in traffic, you have to remember, "That could be Jesus!"

So here's my contribution to these two ideas, born out of my experience of motherhood. I have found that most of the time, I am much more generous with my own children than I am with the rest of the world. Because I know them so intimately, I tend to respond patiently and gently even when their offense is obnoxious. I sometimes laugh when one of them is giving me a particularly tough time, because I just find it charming. And I almost always grow alarmed and even mad when someone else disciplines them too harshly, misunderstands them, or insults them (don't cross me and my babies!). They're my own, and I am often surprised with the grace that I am given to interact with them (although God-- and Ben-- knows that there are days that my patience runs dry). But all in all, I tend to interact with them on the basis of love and not mistrust or anger.

This is my hope: The next time that I am growing peeved with someone in the world-- which will probably be later today-- I will take a deep breath and realize that in some previous life, this person was my child. Or I will take a deep breath and realize that this person is my own child in my midst. I will imagine the sassy store clerk, the reckless driver speeding through the stop sign, or the difficult family member as a helpless little baby, or a nervous little toddler, needing my grace and attention.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Being Servant to One Another

I think that my children will grow up imagining that all music is either church music or bluegrass. Which is fine by me. One of my favorite songs to sing the kids is "Jesus is Coming." The tune is pretty catchy, and Zosia definitely gets it stuck in her head. One day I was eavesdropping on Zosia making a "phone call" on a playphone, and overheard her saying, "Addison (her good friend up the street)! Jesus is coming! Okay? Jesus is coming!" My sister has suggested that twenty years down the road we'll be remembering this story when Zosia is a missionary somewhere across the world.

I have recently had Servant Song stuck in my head, which is one of my favorite church songs. It is so simple and beautiful. I played my flute for this song at my friends' Rachel and Sean's wedding-- and they sang the verses to one another. I can't imagine a more beautiful wedding ritual. As I was singing it to Lily this evening, I realized how poignant and perfect the words are for our mother-daughter relationship, too. I truly am her servant in so many ways-- and can imagine that at times in the future I will have to humble myself to allow her to serve me, too.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Strawberry Rhubarb Delight


Few things are as delightful a strawberry and rhubarb-- both ingredients that happen to be cheap, fresh, and accessible this time of year. And this is actually a Collins original recipe, so you won't find it anywhere else!

For filling:
2 t vegetable oil
1 1/2 lbs rhubarb, ends trimmed, cut into 1-inch pieces
1 cup sugar
3 T arrowroot or potato starch
1 1/2 lbs strawberries (about 5 cups)
1/2 t vanilla extract

For topping:
1 cup flower (part or all whole wheat)
1/2 cup sugar
1 1/2 t baking powder
1/2 t salt

1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup applesauce, butter, or oil

1. Mix all filling ingredients together in a large bowl and then transfer to a casserole dish or pan.
2. Mix together dry topping ingredients, and add milk and oil (we used soymilk and oil to make it vegan). Spoon over filling (it won't cover it all, but that's okay)
3. Cook at 375 for about an hour, or until the filling is hot and bubbly.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Day Boxes


I have finally gotten around to a project that I have been thinking about for a while: creating special "day boxes" with some art supplies, books, puzzles, and toys that will only be pulled out on certain days of the week during Lily's morning nap. I have sort of come to terms with the fact that Lily isn't going to nap too well on the move, which means that Z-dubbs and I are here at home in the morning. And I have noticed that there are many art supplies that go unused and many books that are ignored because they're always around. So first I pulled a bunch of toys and put them in the unfinished part of the basement, I left some out, and I separated the rest into the boxes. And Zosia and I got some great art supplies last night (finger painting, anyone?), which I'm really excited to try out this week. Then, as she gets bored of the toys that are around, we'll start rotating new ones in.

Notice that Friday doesn't have a box. Which in all honesty, is because I couldn't find a tupperware with a lid. But I'm thinking maybe Fridays we'll just do music and bubbles or something like that.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Breathe, Smile. Ahh.


Few teachings have resonated as deeply with me as mindfulness practice, specifically the teachings/writings of Thich Nhat Hanh. Aside from being a courageous political activist and prolific writer, Thich Nhat Hanh has explored how each person can start to become grounded in the present moment through practicing mindfulness. When I was a grad student, being mindful and present were nice-- mindfulness improved the quality of my day-to-day-life and made me more relaxed. But now, as the mother of two small children, I am finding mindfulness to be absolutely essential. If I am not present and grounded, then things get crazy very fast, and I start to feel scattered and out of control. When I am practicing mindfulness, even when things get out of control, I can remain grounded, calm, and present.

One of my first exposures to Thich Nhat Hanh was a simple meditation exercise that went something like this. Breathe in. Smile. Breathe out. Nhat Hanh writes,
If in our daily life we can smile, if we can be peaceful and happy, not only we, but everyone will profit from it. If we really know how to live, what better way to start the day than with a smile? Our smile affirms our awareness and determination to live in peace and joy. The source of a true smile is an awakened mind.
I will admit: when I first did this centering exercise, it felt weird. I didn't feel especially happy, so forcing that smile felt disingenuous, forced, awkward. And I was in a room full of students. Was anyone looking at me? Did I look stupid? But, if you do this practice, especially if you do it regularly, I think you will experience what I did; smiling is transformative. Even if you don't "mean it" at first, with time, your whole body will start to feel the joy that a simple smile initiates.

Lately I have been doing a lot of smiling at Lily. It's hard not to, because most of the time when you smile at her, you are rewarded with a huge smile or even chuckle. A few times I have smiled at her during a moment when I felt scattered, overwhelmed and stressed. And, sure enough, Nhat Hanh's wisdom proved itself true. When you smile, everyone profits from it.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

I Don't Wanna Grup



Check out this New Yorker article on "grups" ("Also known as yupster (yuppie + hipster), yindie (yuppie + indie), and alterna-yuppie"), a breed of adult that I have definitely noticed but never named. At first Ben insisted that we are grups-- he has the chunky glasses, I have the clothes, and we definitely played indy music for Zosia at bedtime for the first year of her life. But no, upon reading the article, I recognized that we are not technically grups because grups are 40 year olds who are pretending to be 20 something hipsters, but we are still 20-somethings. But since we have the kids/ mortgage thing going on, I do feel a certain camaraderie with these peeps (except for the paying 400 bucks for the distressed jeans. That's just crazy).

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Seasonal Yumminess: Asparagus, Eggs, and Tomatoes


Here's a favorite seasonal recipe of ours. It's unbelievably simple, delicious, and healthy, which is probably why it's a regular for us in the spring and early summer. I'm not sure if you can still find Asparagus at farmers markets, but especially in the North I'm guessing it shouldn't be a problem. These are technically two separate recipes, but for some reason we always eat them together.

Asparagus and Eggs

Snap the rough ends off a bunch of asparagus, and then steam the spears until they are tender but not floppy.
Meanwhile, fry the eggs in a little oil until slightly cooked but still runny in the center.

Tomato Onion Salad
Chop up ripe seasonal tomatoes, add chopped green, yellow, or red onion. Dress with balsamic vinegar and oil or lemon juice and oil.

Place the asparagus on a plate and top with eggs (we usually do 2 per person). Top with grated Parmesan.
Serve with side of tomato onion salad and some toast.

That's it! The over-easy eggs mixed with the parmesan make a wonderful sauce for the asparagus, and the tanginess of the tomatoes is the perfect complement. Enjoy!

Monday, July 6, 2009

Our Family is Growing More Diverse



Meet the newest member of our family: Sonia. She looks good in overalls, is a female farmer, and Asian-American on top of all of it. She is officially Zosia's favorite, over and above a plethora of other toys. She is the person on the other end of Zosia's imaginary phone calls, the one she confides her secrets to in the intimacy of her crib, the one that she bosses around, and sometimes the one that she throws tantrums at.

I need to figure out where to order like 500 of these in case Sonia should ever get lost.

Montessori Monday: Chores



I am in the super duper baby steps of starting to learn how to be a teacher to a toddler. So far, Montessori method is the one that resounds most strongly with me-- I have done some reading on it, am a graduate of a Montessori preschool myself, and have interacted with several wonderful families that have used Montessori with their kids. I know there's lots of interest out there in Montessori, and some of you might be interested in what's going on with Zosia, so I thought I would try to make it a point to share some Montessori principles that I am learning and using with Zosia.

My mom always says, whenever asked about my preschool, something to the effect of, "Well, they always had you scrubbing tables." Which is actually true. And now that I know a bit more about Montessori, I understand that this is a principle of the method, and not just my preschool teachers getting lazy. The basic idea is that you should have children do as much as they are capable of doing, even if it means that they don't do it as well as you do, or that they take a long time. This gives them a chance to get the satisfaction of completing tasks for themselves, and, with time, actually means that they start being helpful.

Some things that Zosia does "for herself" include cleaning the table (shown above), setting the table, retrieving new diapers and throwing old ones away, cleaning up toys, putting dirty clothes in the laundry, washing her hands, and mixing ingredients in the kitchen. Obviously, since she's not even two yet, none of these things are done perfectly, but I can honestly say that not only is she very proficient at getting many of these done, but she is a help to me around the house.

One thing that's particularly challenging about this aspect of Montessori is resisting perfectionist urges. If a child repeatedly does something him or herself only to see you immediately go back and "do it right" or correct them, that will ultimately (according to Montessori) reduce their belief in themselves. So, within reason, the goal is to let them do it and then sort of let it be, even if that means having a slightly crumby kitchen table, or whatever. And come on, who can't use an extra pair of hands around the house?

Friday, July 3, 2009

Guilty Pleasures

We all have them. Whether it's picking up that tabloid magazine at the checkout counter, watching a reality show, eating dinner at the drive-through. There are things that are truly rejuvenating and life-giving like taking a long bath or slowly enjoying a square of dark chocolate. These are not guilty pleasures. No, guilty pleasures are the ones that feel like they will be wonderful, energizing and delightful and then just leave you feeling smarmy.

The reason that Ben and I effectively gave up all commercial television was because it just left us feeling gross. It seemed like it would be relaxing, and then you turn on the TV and before you know it you're watching a reality show about some unhappy rich person or some celebrity shopping for a new girlfriend. Gross. (Now, I'm not dissing on all TV... there are some shows that I wish we could watch, but come on after our bedtime or air on channels that we don't get).

But back to the guilty pleasures. In lieu of TV shows, my guilty pleasure has been a blog that I read that, honestly, just gets ugly. It involves name calling and belittling people and speculating about people's intentions, and it just leaves me feeling bad. So, a couple weeks ago I decided to slowly wean myself from said blog, which I have been following for several years. It was hard at first, but I am happy that it has been over a week since I checked the blog and didn't even remember about it until today. Which means that I'm on the market for a new guilty pleasure... ideas?

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Theological Thursday: Gluttony

One of my favorite classes in college was one that I took about contemplative practice and social change. In that class, I think that I took one of the only quizzes or tests that I ever took in a religion class (we tend to be much bigger on paper-writing). It was a vocabulary test on asceticism, and while I would probably be hard pressed to define most of the words today, there is at least one that has stuck with me.

Gluttony: an unnecessary need for variety.

Not excessive eating or drinking. Not overindulgence. Unnecessary need for variety.

I think that the reason that this unorthodox definition was etched into my mind is that a need for variety is the driving force of not only my own life, but our entire culture. We seem to have an endless hunger for new things, whether that's new foods to eat, new places to visit, new clothing to purchase. We are (and I certainly belong to the "we") obsessed with variety, so having the term "gluttony," which has universally negative connotations, associated with that desire is shocking.

These days, there is not as much variety in my life as there has been at times in the past. I don't travel far and wide, I don't embark on exciting and new adventures, I don't even try as many new recipes as I have in the past. For the most part, my life is lived in a very set, and, at times, monotonous routine that revolves around the care of two small and vulnerable bodies.

I hope that the next time that I find myself longing for that "unnecessary variety," I will have the presence of mind to know that the desert mothers and fathers knew what they were talking about: getting over my yearning for new and unnecessary stuff is all a part of getting over myself.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Am I changing?

I love the Meyers Briggs personality test. In fact, mere minutes before I gave birth to Lily, I was having a conversation with our doula Regina, our birth assistant Wendy, and my sister Irene about the Meyers Briggs. I first took the test when I was in the seventh grade and Irene was in the 9th, and as a freshman in highschool she was required to take the test. I took it again when I was in the 9th grade, and have periodically taken it since then. While there has been some variety over the years when I take the test, some things remain absolutely true: I am an NF (intuitive and feeling, which basically means that I prefer the theoretical to the concrete and make my decision on emotion). I tend towards introversion and judging (which does not mean judgmental, but rather that I like organization). Well, on a whim, I decided to take the test again today online (which you can do here if you're interested), and something very strange happened. My test turned out completely different than it has in the past. Today I am an ISFP(!).

In the past, when I have been answering the questions, I have often had a hard time thinking of concrete examples from which to answer the questions. So I sort of answer based on how I imagine I might behave. But today, for the first time, I felt very at ease answering the questions. Perhaps motherhood has, out of necessity, given me a deeper understanding of how I function in difficult situations. Or maybe I just have to be more in tune with my preferences in order to not lose sight of myself. All I can say is that I sort of feel like I am being re-introduced to myself (those of you who have taken the test probably can imagine how it would feel to suddenly realize that you are totally opposite from what you previously believed).

I have some consolation in the fact that almost all of my "areas" are borderline. The only category that remains very strong is feeling over thinking. But an S? Really? Well, for those who are interested, here are my results. I would love to know what some other people are!

ISFP - "Artist". Interested in the fine arts. Expression primarily through action or art form. The senses are keener than in other types. 8.8% of total population.
Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)